


Assistant Needed!

by pennigirl



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Assistant Darcy Lewis, Clint Barton & Darcy Lewis Friendship, Gen, Post-Iron Man 2, Pre-Avengers (2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:45:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7374949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennigirl/pseuds/pennigirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events in Iron Man 2, Pepper's in need of an assistant. Unfortunately, everyone she hires turns out to have something wrong with them, and (despite temptation) she can't have Tony make a clone of her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Assistant Needed!

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this up ages ago and never posted it because I thought I might add more. Since I haven't thought of anything after over a year, I figured it was time to get over myself and put it up here. It's unbeta'd, so any errors are mine.

They survived. Tony had his new “element” for his reactor and the SHIELD doctor Pepper forced Tony to go through said that he’d be fine. It only took a few days of Tony begging on his hands and knees for Pepper to just sigh in frustration and agree to retain her position as CEO of Stark Industries.

Tony had kissed her in gratitude and Pepper had rolled her eyes as he waxed on about her many wonderful qualities before she told him to shut up and let her get ready for work the next day.

Without the help of Natalie Pepper struggled with her workload and hired an assistant at the end of the first week. Daphne was a bright young woman with a good attitude and a background in public relations that Pepper knew would be very helpful if dealing with the press. She worked wonderfully for two months before pepper caught a red eye home with Rhodey and his men. She’d meant it as a surprise for Tony, but walked in just in time to see the woman’s dress hit the floor as she stood in front of Tony and gave Pepper a view of her ass in a pair of lace briefs.

“What do you think, Mr. Stark?” the soft voice said in an attempt to be seductive.

Tony, who was at the bar with a drink in is hand, quirked an eyebrow and Pepper glared as he smirked and said “I think you’re about to be fired,” before tipping his head to Pepper.

Daphne turned to see Pepper furiously typing out a message before slipping her blackberry into her purse. “Happy’s outside and will take you home, Daphne. You can pick up your things from security in the morning. Also, since you are still within your ninety days, you have not qualified yourself for your severance package and are therefore not entitled to any of its unemployment benefits.”

Tony coughed and the word “Burn!” came out of his mouth. Daphne turned and threw him a frown before Pepper said sharply, “Good day, Daphne.”

Daphne opened her mouth to say something but Pepper just gave her a glare she usually reserved for Tony and the young woman picked up her dress and belt.

If it had been a couple years ago, Pepper would’ve reviewed the security feeds from Jarvis to see who instigated things. But she trusted Tony now, so she didn’t bother. Instead she let him lead her upstairs, ordered herself a pizza and emailed Becky in HR to find her a new assistant.

 

Unfortunately Daphne was only the beginning of trend. After Daphne was Claire. She took five weeks compared to Daphne’s eight. She made her move on Tony during a flight to New York for a review of a construction project.

After Claire was Rosie. She lasted two weeks. Then there was Michelle, Tracy, Tiffany...the list went on. In five months Pepper went through nine assistants that tried to sleep with Tony. Her tenth one was very promising. Her name was Sara and she was a happily married mother of two. Unfortunately, she would cry at the drop if a hat and after her sixth crying incident Pepper had to let her go.

Also, as Tony began frequenting New York for his ‘consulting’ her trips back and forth made it easier for them to see each other. She was on one of these trips and having meetings with Agent Coulson when his assistant strode in to hand him several folders.

“Is the day’s correspondence in here?” Coulson asked.

“Yes, sir,” his assistant replied. She turned to Pepper, “Hello Ms. Potts.”

“Hello, Clarissa,” pepper replied.

“Any updates from Foster?” he asked.

“Yes, sir. Fourteen total. Two for each day this past week. She also sent a request for some equipment and supplies.”

Coulson nodded and handed a folder to Pepper. “I was hoping to finagle some tracking equipment from Stark for this project. Doctor Foster is one of the top astrophysicists we have working with us.”

Pepper scanned the folder. “Einstein Rosen Bridge?”

“She calls it a rainbow bridge,” Clarissa commented.

Pepper smiled at that and was going back to the folder when Coulson sighed. “Clarissa, I thought you blocked Ms. Lewis from messaging us?”

“We did, sir.”

“Then please explain how she was able to send us…” Coulson flipped a page. “Fifteen emails this week?”

Clarissa gave a little frown. “I’ll investigate, but I’m betting she’s hacking Fosters email, sir. She does write most of the requisition proposals after all.”

“Well, please find a way to block her from that,” Coulson replied. There was silence for a few beats, than he sighed out, “Again.”

Clarissa nodded and left.

“Problems, Phil?” Pepper asked.

“Yes, and her name is Darcy Lewis,” Coulson replied. “She’s Doctor Fosters assistant.”

Pepper sensed a story there, but Coulson didn’t elaborate and she didn’t ask since she was distracted by Coulson asking, “By the way, I hear you have a new assistant.”

Pepper smiled at his inquiry. “Yes. His name’s David. It’s only been a couple of weeks, but so far he’s been very promising.’

Coulson nodded. “Well, I’m glad to hear it. I know you’ve had difficulty with finding one lately.”

Pepper smiled. “Thank you, I appreciate that.”

She also appreciated Jarvis calling her on her flight home to report David had had a ‘friend’ over to the mansion and they’d absconded with two of her favorite paintings.

By the time she’d landed Jarvis had already called the police, David was arrested, and Pepper had a request for a new assistant sent to HR. Sometimes Pepper wished Jarvis was human. He’d be an excellent assistant.

The last one she hired was Bridget. The girl was whip smart, but couldn’t interact with the public to save her life. Reporters and the like bothered her, and the one time she had to talk to Coulson sent her into a panic.

Pepper was determined to make it work though. Especially after finding out HR had started a betting pool on how long her assistants would last. Tony thought it was hysterical. Pepper just thought it made her look bad, so she decided to work with Bridget. She helped her with her speaking skills, encouraged her as best she could. Unfortunately, Bridget’s inability to deal with the public was just a front.

“A spy?!” Tony yelled as Pepper sat on the couch in Malibu. “Are you kidding me?”

Pepper shook her head. “I wish I was. Coulson says I’m lucky Natasha was with him at the meeting today. Apparently there’s only five people alive who know who Bridget really is. Natasha happens to be one of them. Something about a program run by the ‘Red Room’ whatever the hell that is.”

“Thank god for Natasha and her shady past,” Tony said. “So what’re you going to do now?”

“I don’t know,” Pepper said tiredly. “This whole situation has gotten beyond frustrating. Everyone I hire is either incapable, a thief, a spy, or a skank. Is it too much to ask for someone who is honest, reliable, and not going to freak out about all the SHIELD stuff?”

Tony shrugged. “Too bad we can’t just clone you, huh?”

Pepper rolled her eyes and flopped back onto the couch in exasperation.

She tried not to think too hard about the fact that Tony might actually try to clone her if she asked.

 

For two months Pepper didn’t bother hiring anyone new. It was tough but she managed. The SHIELD stuff was still happening and it was getting bigger too. Almost to the point where Pepper found herself out on the east coast for more than just a couple of days at a time.

In fact, she was on day three of her current jaunt in the city sitting at Tony’s desk in Stark tower when a large white cup with green writing was placed in front of her.

Surprised, she looked up from her stack of work to see a brunette young woman in jeans and a clash t-shirt smiling at her. She chugged from a cup in her hand and said, “It’s a non-fat quad-shot vanilla latte.”

“Um…thanks,” Pepper said.

The young woman shrugged, “No big,” she replied before walking away. Pepper watched her go before reaching for the cup. She smiled after the first sip and went back to work.

 

One day, and another failed attempt later, Tony held out a drink to her as she walked through the doorway with Happy on her heels. “Thanks,” she said, and knocked it back before letting herself settle on the couch and kick off her heels. She sighed deeply and let Tony pour her another drink.

“Too bad Agent Romanoff turned out to be, well, Agent Romanoff. She’d be perfect for you,” Tony said.

Pepper threw Tony a look of annoyance and he shrugged. “Just a thought.”

She sipped at the drink and said. “Jarvis?”

“Yes Ms. Potts?” the AI asked cordially.

“Can you please notify HR to place the notice again?”

“Certainly Ms. Potts.”

 

The next day Pepper found herself at SHIELD trying to wrangle Tony for a board meeting. Yes, she was CEO, but he was needed for his previous dealings with a company they were looking to purchase.

Unfortunately he was nowhere to be found. Pepper looked everywhere she had clearance to go but she couldn’t find him anywhere. (And she had clearance for a lot of places, courtesy of Phil.) She was heading towards Coulson’s office to ask for his particular brand of assistance when she turned a corner and bumped into a shorter, petite woman with a stack of graphs and some odd equipment in her hands.

“Sorry,” Pepper said.

“My fault,” the woman said, blowing a piece of hair out of her face. “I get distracted sometimes.”

Pepper smiled. “I know the feeling.”

The woman grinned back and said, “I haven’t seen you before. You’re an Agent?”

Pepper blinked. She wasn’t as out there as much as Tony, but she knew she was sort of recognizable. “Um…”

“C’mon, Jane, I know you’ve watched CNN at some point this year. Surely you can recognize the CEO of Stark Industries,” a voice piped up behind the petite woman.

Pepper looked behind the shorter woman, Jane, to see the young woman who’d brought her coffee at the tower the other day. She smiled at her. “Hello there. I didn’t get your name the other day.”

 The girl smiled. “It’s Darcy.” She gestured at the shorter woman. “This is jane.”

“Hi,” Jane said, waving her fingers from underneath her armful of stuff.

Pepper couldn’t help, but grin at them.

“What brings you to SHIELD?” Darcy asked. “I know we use Stark tech, but I didn’t know you visited us here?”

Pepper looked at her watch and sighed. “I was looking for Tony Stark, himself, actually. I need him for a board meeting across town in an hour and can’t find him anywhere. I was about to ask Coulson for help.”

“Oh, he’s not here. Well, he’s _here_ , as in on property, but not _here_ as in this immediate building,” Darcy said. “Jane just scared him off with her physics jargon and talk of Norse gods. I saw him go into one of the subbasement elevators.

“Oh,” Pepper sighed, and deflated. This was going to be bad for her meeting if she couldn’t find Tony. She pulled out her phone and tried Tony again. As she did so, she saw Darcy taking some of the stuff out of Jane’s arms. She growled in frustration as she clicked the ‘off’ button.

“No luck?” Jane asked.

Pepper shook her head.

“Maybe Darcy can help,” Jane suggested brightly. She turned to Darcy, “Feel like finding a superhero?”

 Darcy grinned. “You mean troll around Shield and a bunch of classified areas to find Tony Stark and possibly piss Coulson off in the process?”

 Jane looked towards the ceiling as she thought about Darcy’s words for a moment than replied. “Yes. Yes I do.”

“Sweet!” Darcy said. She turned to Pepper with a smirk. “You said across town in an hour, right?”

Pepper nodded and checked her watch again. “Yes, and if we leave in fifteen minutes we’ll just make it.”

Darcy grinned and shoved her half of Jane’s equipment into Pepper’s surprised arms before walking away and pulling out her phone. The last words Pepper heard her say were, “Hey, Clint, ya busy?”

Pepper stared at Jane, who merely shrugged at her and led her down the hall to drop off the equipment.

Ten minutes later Pepper was fighting laughter as a very disgruntled Tony Stark came walking through SHIELD’s lobby with a very satisfied Darcy behind him. “Found him in the armory.”

Pepper glared and Tony shrugged. “Experimental gear for the Initiative.”

 “Uh-huh,” Pepper replied blamdly. “Happy’s waiting outside.”

 Tony sighed petulantly and headed for the exit.

 “Thank you,” Pepper said graciously as a well muscled blonde man strode up behind Darcy.

Darcy shrugged. “Anytime.” She jerked a thumb to the man behind her and said, “Clint helped.”  

Clint shrugged and Pepper smiled at him in thanks before she turned to walk away.

Darcy waved emphatically and called out, “Bye, Tony!”

Tony waved without turning around and Pepper strode with him out the door. They were settling into the back seat of the car, Pepper with merger details in her hands, as Tony reached for his smoothie stash and said, “I like her.”

Pepper smiled as they watched the traffic go by. “Me too.”

 

A couple days later Pepper found herself at Stark tower watching as Tony and the muscled blonde man, Clint, argued about whether some arrows were properly balanced or not. As she did she fielded calls from the press and several government officials regarding Tony’s involvement with government defense contracts. Seems somebody had leaked a rumor about Tony doing weapons work for a government agency despite his “no weapons” stance and some people weren’t liking it too much. Mostly because they wanted in, and to get some weapons for their departments too.

She'd just hung up her twelfth call when Jarvis announced “Ms. Lewis is at the door for Mr. Barton, sir.”

“Let her in,” Tony said, popping open the rounded head of an arrow and pulling out some wiring. A few seconds later Darcy came striding down the hallway as Pepper picked up her next call. She waved greetings to Darcy as she did so and the young woman smiled before waving back and settling in to watch Tony and Clint bicker while she tapped at her phone.

After a few minutes, Pepper hung up her call with a growl and threw the phone across the couch.

“Who was that one from?” Tony asked.

“Your favorite,” Pepper replied.

“Bernstein?” Tony asked.

 “No,” Pepper replied, then said with a slight growl, “Everheart.”

Tony winced and Darcy asked, “That’s the chick form vanity fair, right?”

“She used to be,” Pepper replied, “Now she works for Fox news. She snuck into a congressman’s office to get her call through on their line, since we’re screening the press. And is a serious pain in the –”

The phone rang again and Pepper groaned.

“Would you like me to redirect the call, Ms. Potts?” Jarvis asked kindly.

“Yes,” Tony said, right when Pepper said, “No.”

Tony frowned at her and said, “Don’t let them drive you crazy, Pep. Let the publicist and the lawyers handle it for the rest of the night. It’s what they’re paid those ridiculous amounts of money for.”

Pepper just sighed at him and was reaching across the couch for the phone when a pale hand reached forward and snatched it up before she could. Darcy cleared her throat and clicked the accept button before saying, “Darcy Lewis speaking. How can I help you?” Darcy crossed her eyes as a loud voice could be heard over the phone.  When the volume got louder and an expletive was heard, Darcy finally interrupted them and said, “That tone is unnecessary at this time, sir. Stark industries is very concerned regarding today’s allegations, and is taking every step necessary to investigate the matter. I abhor the suggestion that we aren’t. And before you accuse someone of not doing their job, maybe you should make sure voters are happy with how you’re doing yours. Especially considering certain photos, emails and texts that may be on your personal, government funded, and cellphone.”

With a smirk and a click Darcy hung up the phone with a sing-song “Have a nice day!” to see Clint, Tony, and Pepper staring at her. “What?” she asked.

“Who did you just hang up on?” Clint asked.

“And what does he have on his phone?” Tony asked.

Darcy shrugged and automatically hung up the next call that came through. “I think they were a senator or an aid of some sort.”

“And their phone?” Tony asked.

Darcy snorted. “Hell if I know. He’s a politician. They’re always worried about what’s on their phones. It’s like, a rule or something.”

Tony chuckled, Clint gaped, and Pepper grinned before saying, “You’re hired.”

Darcy laughed and handed Pepper back the phone. “Okay, doing what?”

“Working for me,” Pepper said. “As my new assistant.”

Darcy stopped laughing. “You’re kidding, right?”

Pepper shook her head. “’Nope. I want you as my new assistant. You’re hired as of now if you want it.”

“Um, why?” Darcy asked. “There have to be at least a dozen more qualified people in this building alone.”

“There probably are,” Pepper said. “But the qualified people don’t work out. They can handle business, but not scaring off politicians like you just did.”

Darcy shrugged. “Well, that was just a bit of fun is all.”

“Plus, you can wrangle Tony, which is no small feat in itself, and ordered my favorite coffee just by guessing. Which, let me tell you, is a huge plus. “

Darcy grinned. “What can I say? It’s a gift.”

“You also don’t want to sleep with Tony,” Pepper said.

Darcy scrunched up her nose and made a face. “Ew!”

“Hey!” Tony said, Clint laughing beside him.

 Pepper smiled at their antics and turned to Darcy. “So, do you want the job?”

Darcy shrugged. “What the hell. What’s life without a little craziness, right?”

Pepper grinned and held out her hand. Darcy took it and shook it firmly as Pepper said, “Welcome to Stark Industries, Ms. Lewis.”

              

              


End file.
